It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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