Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we're making bets on your personal life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
