Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
