if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
