And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
