walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
