You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
