she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
