im drinking this country out of the recession.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I need a burrito and a hug.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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