Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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