Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
