If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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