probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
