Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
