I love black thongs
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
