my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
