is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
