walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize