just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
