Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
