He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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