Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
