i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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