there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
