i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
