Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize