tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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