I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
