You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
