I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
