Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You don't make any sense
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