I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What did we do last night that was yellow?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
