i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
