I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
