Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
