I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
