How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
