i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
