you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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