Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
