and you said cock pushups were impossible
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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