he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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