dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
