you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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