my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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