So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
