we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
