Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
