I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
