I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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